By Gîtaû wa Kûngû
To consent means to express willingness/ give permission. It's also (voluntary) agreement, approval, assent, permission, willingness. The opposite (antonyms) of consent are dissent, disagreement, opposition, refusal.
Let's concentrate on consent to sexual act. The universal ethics code dictates that a couple must agree/consent to have sex or else that would be rape!
The act of forcing sexual intercourse or other sexual activity upon another person, without their consent and/or against their will is called rape. Rape is one of the world's heinous crimes.
Both gender can rape the other. But we will concentrate on when a man rapes a mature lady. Convicted rapists have made interesting justifications to why they raped their victims.
For example; a girl visits her boyfriend's room. She's dressed in a top that clearly shows her cleavage and a bright miniskirt. Now, is that a nonverbal "sign" of consent to have sex with her boyfriend?
Some convicted rapists argue they were sexually provoked by their girlfriend's dressing and they "assumed" that was a nonverbal consent to sex only for the girl to refuse penetration when the game unfolded, scream or report later of being raped!
Your dressing code could be misunderstood for "consent" to have sex! Perhaps you don't know how your dressing could be a message to a man that "yes, I'm ready to be undressed in the shortest time possible!"
Men are emotionally weak beings especially when it comes to sexual orientation. Some men have even raped their daughters!
If maniacal men "kula kwa macho" in the streets, what do you think would happen in a closed room with a lady, even a daughter "they are eating with the eyes?" Dress decently or you might find yourself getting raped!
Still, some bizarre rape cases have happened after clubbing.
Some ladies have drunk like tankers of alcohol on the bill of a "generous man" only for them to report later that they were raped by the man who was in his mind actually "buying sex" not "generous."
Seriously, why would you drink several thousands of a man's hard earned money; and get in his car not to mention asking him to help you to a room after you are out and he's not your father or brother if you are not risking getting raped?
They say nothing is free, especially a maniac's hard earned money! Don't always be on the neck of a "generous" man asking for money otherwise you expose yourself to the risk of rape if you refuse to or you have nothing to pay back his money.
Just like you cannot humour around with a snake even if you don't see it's fangs, don't joke around with situations that expose you to the risk of rape.
The victims might be jailed for some decades but you will live with an incurable emotional, maybe psychological wound forever!
Conclusively, some acts/behaviours are not consent to have sex but they may be misunderstood as "nonverbal" consent by some partners. Knowledge is power, use it well!
Written by Gîtau wa Kung'u
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